Howdy gentle reader. Welcome to this consecrated space where I’ll be posting all my slimy secrets, intoxicating tips, and verified original thoughts™. If you’re just stumbling upon this by sheer fate, I’m Lindsay and I own Scorpio Rising Media, your one-stop-shop for creative digital content.
As you’d probably suspect, with someone whose livelihood involves content creation, I consume quite a heavy dose of content. One of my favorite forms of content to indulge in? Fresh-pressed, raw, organic, influencer content. From the farmhouse-mommy-micro-influencers to the lip-filler-fashion-mogul-influencers, if they have over 20k followers, then I’ve probably invested 20 minutes of my life absorbing every overly-edited image on their feed.
Now before you roll your eyes at my predilection (as so many of us do when we hear the word “influencer”), please take relief in the fact that I am a complicated human who is cognizant of the toxic and problematic culture within the influencing world, and I dabble in drawing attention/criticism to these aspects through my own satire videos on the ‘gram. But just like I approach alcohol and sweets, I believe everything in moderation babe, and I shall not feel guilty for unwinding by doing a deep dive into one influencer’s journey to overcome a parasite with holistic supplements and vitamins (yeah, and you thought your 2020 was bad).
That all being said, I know influencers are not for everyone. Sometimes you just want to go on your Instagram and only see people from your high school post pictures from their bachelorette weekend, and I respect that; however, one of the best parts of following influencers is that they can be *whispers* influential. Yeah, who knew? Sometimes influencers know their shit when it comes to brands, leisure, and any other consumer good your capitalist-addicted heart desires, and other times, they’re just getting paid to promote an overpriced product (sorry nothing will convince me sheets should cost $400).
Whatever the case may be, I’m here to provide my hashtag un-sponsored opinion on the matter by reviewing the products shilled by these Instagram algorithm darlings. This monthly series, aptly knighted as “Scroller’s Digest,” will be where I’ll be telling you to “Swipe Up” on gotta buy products or “Keep Scrolling” on products that are clearly just being posted for the #sponsored money, while also adding a few of my personal favs that I think influencers are sleeping on.
This month, the series will be focusing on one of the internet’s most controversial topics… SKINCARE. Check out my ratings below:
Disclaimer: I am a fair-skinned white woman with an oily-combination skin type in her late 20’s (I know that was literally the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever typed out) and my skincare preferences might not be suited for everyone! I know that seems obvious, but I think these sort of disclaimers about the skin type of the writer behind the reviews should be more common place since skincare is different for everyone.
1. OLEHENRIKSEN Banana Bright Eye Crème – $39
This is an influencer essential and always makes the rounds in the “get ready with me” reels. I also need to note that my sister swears by this and she works for the government, so her opinion is definitely not sponsored but also irrelevant. Personally though, this product is a no for me dog. Maybe it’s my deep set, genetically spooky dark circles that are just expecting too much of the “bright” portion of this eye cream to do a lot of heavy lifting, but I just didn’t see any of the brightening effects that others rave about. Hydrating? Sure, but isn’t all eye cream? I’m honestly not convinced we even need eye cream separate from a face moisturizer, but don’t worry, I will keep spending too much on eye cream like the good little feminist I am (yes, I read The Beauty Myth freshman year). Will I spend $40 on this particular eye cream again? Now that I will not do.
In case you’ve been living under a rock this year, Gen Z has been going door-to-door spreading the gospel of SPF protection. I don’t mean to sound polarizing but if you’re not applying sunscreen every day, then seriously what are you doing? There’s about 3-4 highly rated SPF’s circulating amongst the influencers, but I have to say, this one has officially won me over. Sure it’s a physical sunscreen, and I read somewhere once those are better for you, but what really won me over was the look and feel when wearing it. It goes on like butter and provides a weightless, tinted layer that doesn’t quite look like I’m wearing makeup but still helps to blend my uneven skin tone. Protection AND a “no-makeup makeup” look that makes my skin look like a 16-year-old debutant in nineteenth century England? Swipe up the next time your favorite “clean eating” influencer promotes this one baby.
Ugh, every part of my cute-package-loving-body wanted to like this, but if I’m being honest with myself, this eye cream, even in the shape of an avocado, was just not worth $42. I’ve had really great results with other retinol products used on other parts of my face, so maybe I was just expecting those same results on the area under my eye, but again, it just felt and looked like regular face cream to me. Despite what Hollywood producers might tell you, I am still pretty young and most of my anti-aging concerns are preventative, so if I kept using this product for the next 20 years I might see more results then… but I just don’t have the patience or savings account for that kind of loyalty.
4. LANEIGE Lip Sleeping Mask – $22
I know twenty bucks for glorified lip balm is definitely extravagant, but I will say I do not miss that $22. Even though it’s labeled as a “lip sleeping mask,” I get my money’s worth and wear it through out the day. In dry SoCal, I find I only need to use it about twice per day to keep my Krusty Krab lips at bay. It’s pretty thick but not overly sticky, and it even provides this really pretty not-quite-lip-gloss sheen that one time even my boyfriend noticed and complimented me on. Swipe up if you wanna treat your lips like the queen they are.
Let me just say right now, if you don’t have dark circles then stop reading this. This is specifically for my sickly-looking humans that need concealer under their eyes in order to look like a functioning member of society, the rest of you wide-eyed angelic beings can go invest this $70 on cryptocurrency.
Now I know the price tag for this is a turn off (but also turn on *wink*), I myself would have never given it a chance if it weren’t for the fact that I got a sample that I scrapped by with for two months. But listen, as someone who literally has looked hollow and tired since I lost my baby fat, I have tried every single under eye concealer in the game. Back when I wore a full face of make up everyday it was easier to get by with full coverage concealers that would go on thick and cake-y, but now that I like to keep most of my face makeup-free, those types of concealers are just too stark on my bare face. I needed something that covered like a full coverage but was lightweight and hydrating like an eye cream… and I found it in this holy grail. Neither flakey nor cake-y, this blends with my barefaced cheeks like Bob Ross’s paint brush and miraculously covers the giant bruises under my eyes. What constitutes this as skincare and not just a concealer? It also is a mineral SPF and can even be worn at night to help “improve signs of aging.” Though I can’t really comment on the anti-aging part, I do agree it makes my under eyes appear fresh and hydrated in addition to the coverage, which I just didn’t believe was possible in a single product. For me, the $70 is well worth it being that these dark circles are a pretty big insecurity for me, but if you’re not as threatened by your own I totally understand wanting to pass on this. Hopefully one day I’ll get a discount code for all my fellow victorian ghost children.
Any #sponsored products your curious are worth the buy, even beyond skincare? Comment below! I hope to cover a wide range of products every month with this series!